Best of sex this holiday season with natural home remedies

Couples should bear it in mind that having problems with sexuality or erection does not mean that one is physiologically or psychologically abnormal in any way. A man shouldn’t allow his self-esteem and sex-esteem to suffer. The moment this is allowed, the case becomes worse. Rather, it is better to abstain from intercourse altogether for a period of time and married couples should instead engage more in cuddling and nonsexual touches. Gradually, over a period of weeks or months, depending on the couple, the partners would have worked toward a more relaxing atmosphere and then intercourse will naturally follow. This idea is to make sex a less-threatening experience and to overcome the anxiety grip.

Couples can even add some spice to the lovemaking by going to a different setting. They can change the routine by trying out new positions. Stress arising either from performance anxiety or from other life situations can worsen sexual disorder and erectile dysfunction. Regardless of the cause, it’s difficult to enjoy oneself when one has too much on his mind. Try relaxation exercises such as deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation, where you consciously tense and relax each part of the body in sequence.

Feel free to express your feelings. Marital difficulties are notorious contributors to sexual problems. Anger, resentment and hurt feelings often spill into a couple’s sex life, turning the bedroom into a battlefield. This situation is likely to develop if partners don’t communicate. Share your feelings with your spouse. This festive period is the best time to really relax because it is full of fun. Use “I” statements, and keep the focus on your feelings, instead of your partner’s actions. Doing a thorough housecleaning of the relationship may very well clear the way for a healthier sexual union instead of storing up emotional debris.

Don’t drink before sex. Drinking alcohol or being drunk can significantly impair your sexual functioning. Try once in a while to recapture your previous successful experiences. If performance anxiety has undermined your confidence, thinking about positive sexual relationships or experiences you have had in the past may help boost your self-esteem. It may also convince you that you can have a fulfilling sex life in the future. Involve your partner. Although erectile difficulties originate with the man while sexual disorders originate both from man and woman, these challenges are a married couple’s problem and can be sorted out by the couple. If the problem is not medical, there are many home remedies strategies.

Have a positive mind-set. Just as you are so optimistic about every other life issue, believe that sexual disorder and erectile dysfunction can be completely resolved. For many of these sexual challenges, a few minutes visit to the hospital and basic medical routine check-up may detect some underlying causes. When they are treated, these ‘gigantic’ challenges easily become issues of the past.

Eating up to 100g on a regular basis of some of our common natural foods is highly beneficial in healing various forms of sexual disorder especially in females and also increases libido and sexual power in men. Some of the foods are Alfalfa sprouts, pistachios, almonds, dried dates, walnuts, local popcorn, quince seeds, salmon, garlic, wheat, black gram, honey, boiled egg, ginger, nuts and white onions. Some of them are well packaged in capsule forms and are available. If you need some of them, you can give me a call.

Natural therapies, like full body massages with olive oil to the base of the penis, lateral sides of the pubic area of the woman and hot baths done with coconut oil regularly are home remedies that have done wonders.

Besides this, couple can adopt cooling method remedy. This is best achieved during foreplay. When you caress your wife and she fondles your penis with good lubricant, soon you will notice that you will reach the point where you will be forced to tell her, ‘’Wait…I am close to ejaculating, but I don’t want to ejaculate until I’m inside you. So stop fondling me for a few minutes, I need to cool.’’ But during those minutes, you will continue to caress her, concentrate more on her nipples and clitoris [you can even suck them] while she lets go of your penis for few minutes until you say, “okay, fondle me again,’’ and soon after that you will tell her, “wait … I need to cool again.’’ Repeat this ‘fondle-cool’ many times. [That is before you enter her, she fondles your penis, but she doesn’t make you ejaculate.] Then you enter her. Because she fondled you before entry many times, this will help train you to the extent that when you eventually enter her, you will not ejaculate too soon. Do not worry if you have little success the first time you try the ‘fondle-cool home remedy. It may take weeks. Just remember, before you enter your wife, let her fondle your penis for a long time, but without making you ejaculate. After some weeks, you will find that this is helping you to slow down after you finally enter her. It will also help you to make your wife climax.

Another home remedy is the PC muscle exercise or Kegel exercise. This is helpful because it is very natural and can be done anywhere anytime and as many times as possible. Kegel exercise is all about squeezing the PC each time you pass urine. Why urine? Because the PC controls the bladder and the urethra of the man, it even spreads to the prostrate and the pelvic wall. All you need to do is make sure you drink a cup of water every hour. This helps you to visit the bathroom and as soon as you want to urinate, just make sure you are not bringing out the urine at once. Divide the urine into three and as soon as you push out the first part, stop and squeeze. Repeating this over and over strengthens the PC cord and invariably reduces the rush of the sperm leading to quick ejaculation during thrusting in and out.

The masters and Johnson squeeze remedy is also one of several techniques men can use to develop the ability to control ejaculation and exercise weak penis. Ask your wife to caress you to point of arousal. As soon as you get a full erection (not before orgasm – just when you get a full erection), she should stop and put her two index fingers under the base of the cap of your penis. The thumb must be placed over the frenulum, which is the elastic band of the penis; it connects the foreskin to the penis. She should then squeeze it hard for about four seconds (she needs to squeeze quite hard), you may even lose between 10 and 30 per cent of your erection because of the squeezing. This is completely normal. Your partner should wait for 15-30 seconds after releasing the squeeze before starting to stimulate your penis again. As soon as you re-gain a full erection, the squeeze technique can again be done. This pattern can be repeated 4-5 times in the first time. When you have done this a few times, it gradually firms the tissues of the penis.

Questions and Answers

Is it normal to sweat excessively during and after sex?

I am one of those that have higher preference for night sex. Until it is late into the night, I may not get aroused or have any desire at all for sex. I am grateful to God because my wife quickly adjusted to this. Sometimes I may wake her up from sleep, have a hot sex and immediately, she will sleep off. But my problem is this, I sweat excessively during and long after the act regardless of the level of coolness in our room. Am I okay?

Mr. Mofutau Brown

Excessive sweaty night sex is not related to any overheated environment. This may be as a result of unknown several hormone disorders, osteomyelitis or tuberculosis. Sometimes, it may be as a result of some symptoms of HIV infection. Some medications are most commonly associated with night sweats, while many cases are as a result of an idiopathic hyperhidrosis, a condition in which the body chronically produces too much sweat especially during and after sex without any identifiable medical cause. It will be a good idea if you visit a medical practitioner.

Can I still look forward to erotic sex at 50?

I know we age with everything including our sexual drive. But should aging affect desire? Does having grandchildren pose a threat to my family moral structure? My husband believes that since we have started having grandchildren, I am not supposed to still look forward to having erotic or pleasurable sex anymore. He says it is a sign of sexual perversion. He says instead, we should agree on him getting married to a younger girl to satisfy his own sexual needs while I teach her and my children’s wives how to be good wives. Funmi, is this right morally and medically? Do the sexuality of men change also or is it only those of women?

Mrs. Christiana Bibil

It is wrong morally and medically. It is either your husband is so traditional or he wants to justify the fact that he wants another wife with his own theory. Now the point is this, as we age, we experience sexual changes and because sexuality tends to be a private matter, it’s likely that you’ve heard less about sexual change than any other element of aging. But the good news is this, for most healthy adults, pleasure and interest don’t even diminish with age. Most people are sexual throughout their lives. Around age 50, men and women typically begin to notice changes in their sexual drive, sexual response, or both. Like so many other physical changes, they aren’t signs that you are losing your sexuality. Rather, these changes are simply something to adjust to without bias.

As men begin to age beyond 50s, their sex drive is minimally affected by age (although health problems, certain medicines, or relationship stress can lower sex drive). Their erections become less firm and tend to take more time than when younger. They may be actually able to delay ejaculation longer than when younger. But as women age beyond 50s, their level of oestrogen, androgen and pegesterone drops as a result of menopause, causing physical changes in the breasts and nipples. This may make it longer for a woman to become sexually excited and less interested in sex. Sometimes, because the skin may be more sensitive, she gets easily irritated when caressed. And because the wall of the vagina has become thinner, sex may be painful (but regular sex and good lubricant especially from the husband’s tongue often help prevent this from becoming severe).

In conclusion, I think what both of you should work towards is how to adjust to every age-related sexual change you may be experiencing rather than one party taking a flight. And with a little experimentation and patience, you can adjust to sexual changes and satisfy your sexual and intimacy needs.

I am a young wife but turning ugly

I started using some form of family planning injection on my arms because at 27 years, I am a mother of three sets of twins. It is not only financially draining but I live in and out of the hospital. Recently, I started noticing that I had suddenly developed excessive growth of facial and body hair while I keep losing the hair on my head. I am just 27 years old, I don’t have a strand of hair on my head any longer; rather I have hair all over my face and body. It is very embarrassing. Please, am I turning into a man?

Mrs. Itunu Oyejo

If you said you are on a family planning injection, there would be a need for you to visit your family planning officer or your doctor because your physical changes may be as a result of the side effect of some of the family planning injection. For instance, if you are on Depo-Provera, it may be the reason for the excessive growth of facial and body hair and hair loss on the head. Headaches, nervousness, depression dizziness, acne, changes in appetite and, weight gain/ loss are some of the side effects. It is made up of a hormone similar to progesterone and excess of it may not be ideal for you.

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